words are always around us. we speak. we read. we have to listen to the host of some asinine reality t.v. show give their opinion that was written down for him/her at a moments notice. we can’t escape it. but, what we can do is make our own opinions and dare i say, our own words. but that takes effort. and effort is for the affordable. never easy, we would rather mimic what has been said before. it’s always been easier that way. and it will be that way forever. or, at least as there’s a t.v. on.

That is until I realized that school was a hell of a lot harder than I had imagined. Plus, I was a non-traditional student, I was in my late twenties when I first started, and felt out of place. I didn’t have many friends at school, maybe it’s better to say hardly any. All of my friends that I hung out with had long since graduated. And I was just trying to feel my way through like I belonged there.

But for the longest time I didn’t know what the hell I was doing there. I thought college was supposed to be some magical place where your eyes opened up and you started to learn so many new and interesting things. Don’t get me wrong, I learned a lot from all the different courses that I took, but something was missing. I never really figured out what that was exactly.

I tried to join different groups to make new friends, but they weren’t what I was looking for. Plus, I was usually the kid in the back of the class. I feel very uncomfortable talking in front of people. If I wanted to say something that I felt was important in class, my anxiety would swell up and I would have to work up the nerve just to state my point.

And then I would listen to other students and what they had to say, but their conversations were foreign to me. I was older than they were and their concerns weren’t necessarily the same as mine. I felt no connection to them and that made me stay to my own even more. I realize that maybe I should have tried harder to meet new people, but I already had my circle of friends and that was all I really needed. They were my base and were supportive all the way.

Then, came the time that I finally had to deal with the issues that I had been running away from all those years ago. I had some personal issues that weren’t allowing myself to be happy. I didn’t think that I deserved happiness and it kept me from succeeding. I had a fear of success. I had a lot of guilt that kept me from allowing myself personal satisfaction. I was trying to hold myself back. It wasn’t healthy, but it was all that I knew at the time. It was self-destructive.

My grades started to slip and I started losing interest in school. I thought school was supposed to show you the world and how it worked. But I had already been out in the “real world” and saw what it was like.

This class was to show you the arts. I already sought that out. I went to plays on my own, I went to every art museum that I could find and I read all of the classics that time would allow.

That class was supposed to teach you economics. Is that anything like having a ton of bills to pay and you aren’t sure if you can afford your next meal? Hhhmmm, I’ve got books that I need to buy but they’re so expensive. It’s either this book or I get to eat for the next month.

I became disgruntled. What’s this going to do for me anyway? It’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t define me, it doesn’t describe me as a person. It doesn’t make me any better or any less of a person whether I own a degree or not. I have goals that I want to achieve and I know that it would be much harder to attain them, but I felt I could do it anyway with or without a piece of paper.

It was frustration. It was fear. And I got scared.

I almost did myself in. I almost stopped myself from succeeding. I was never afraid of failure, only success. And it was time to let go.

I finally have. I’ll be graduating soon. And there’s a lot more that I want to do in my life. This is just another step on the way towards my goals. And I can only hope and pray that I’m able to achieve them. But it hasn’t been very easy, and they say anything worth having never is. And they’re right.

And when I finally do walk on stage to grab my diploma, I’ll have tears in my eyes and be the happiest person there.

I’ve been taking college courses off and on for thirteen years now. And now, the end is finally in sight. It’s been a long road, I started straight out of high school at the local community college that my mother worked. I was getting free schooling and I should have taken more advantage of it while I was there, but it wasn’t the right time for me.

We had a family tragedy during my senior year in high school and I never looked at school the same way again. Up until that point, I had been a good student, not great, but my GPA hovered around the mid three point. But things happen in life and your whole world changes. I thought education was the most important thing until then, my parents had always stressed it and I believed them. They didn’t have the most orthodox education either by the way. My mother graduated from high school and then spent the next 26 years getting her bachelor’s degree, my father dropped out of school in the second grade to help his family. He later attained his GED and an electrical degree, but it was a long and difficult progress.

They have been my inspiration though, I like to say that I’m angry that my mother took away every excuse I had about being too old to go to college. But here I am. I’ll be graduating from college soon. It’s been something that I thought would never happen.

There’s been a million reasons why I shouldn’t have gone to school or things that could have easily stopped my along the way, but there’s been only one reason why I should. Because I wanted to.

After fumbling for 2 1/2 years in community college where I received the worst grades that I had ever gotten, I dropped out and decided it was time to see something different. I enlisted in the Air Force to get me out of my small hometown and see what the world had to offer. It was a great time for me and I learned some very valuable lessons about myself and others that I can take with me forever. I traveled as much as I possibly could and took in as many sights as I was allowed. I read, took in the arts and tried to live life to its fullest. I gained my education through experience.

I even took some college courses through a school that had a satellite course on base. It was an accelerated course meant to give a degree in management. I tried it thinking that it was an easy way to leave the military well on my way to earning a degree. But, it just wasn’t for me. I had to ask myself if that degree was I really wanted and I had to be honest with myself that no, it really wasn’t.

Then came time to make the decision to reenlist or separate from the military. That was one of the hardest decisions that I had to make. I could stay in where I know what’s expected of me and I had a reliable job with an honest paycheck. Or, I could leave and try my hand in the unknown and go back to school, again.

I gave it another shot.

I’m not sure if the days of the wise bartender that gives out useful advice on life still exists. That may have been an urban legend but just know that we’re working for a living like everyone else. The same rules still apply at your place of business as in ours.

To sum it all up, the golden rule isn’t dead, at least I hope that it’s not, and we need to make sure that we are still a civilized society. At least while we have a little bit of our integrity left.

For the just turned twenty-one or still a newbie when going to the bars crowd, the young girls that think they are hotter than what they are…lose the attitude. I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten a rotten look or condescending remark when I ask for your I.D. If I’m asking you for your I.D. then yes, I think you look under twenty-one. Most times when I ask, you have just turned the legal drinking age so don’t give attitude when I’m doing my job. I don’t give you problems when you’re working at Abercrombie & Fitch or some other worthless clothing chain.

I could get a thousand dollar fine and/or six months in jail for serving a minor. My job isn’t worth you getting a beer.

And one of the last people you want to upset when you’re out on the town is the one serving you drinks.

There was a 23 year-old male that was being a total jackass one time. He was condescending throughout the whole night and I tried to ignore him as much as possible but it wasn’t working. His buddy came up to buy him a drink. I asked the annoying one what he wanted and he said anything. “Are you sure?” I asked him. He gave me the affirmative so I decided OK. So I gave him a tall shot of lukewarm cheap tequila, the cheapest we had, with no training wheels (salt and lemon.) The look on his face was priceless.

Just always remember to be respectful of people in the service industry. It’s a job like anything else, and although I can’t speak for everyone, we do the best that we can to make sure your experience is enjoyable.

Don’t worry this isn’t going to be some sort of rant on how I hate people or the work. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be there. But in my time, I like to think that I’ve learned a few things about people. You definitely get a different perspective when you see people drunk and you’re sober. And at the concert venue, we have had at least one band or group or function that appeals to any demographic. Almost everyone has some form of live entertainment that they’re into. Because of this, I like to make the joke that I already have a minor in sociology.

In my time, though, I’ve picked up a few things. This is just a few of the do’s and don’ts when you’re lookin’ platinum and feelin’ stellar. Think of this as a kind of ABC Afterschool Special for the drinking crowd.

First, let me talk to the older gentlemen of the group. If you’re a middle-aged man with a little bit of money and a slick-backed haircut, don’t try and hit on the hot young bartenders. They don’t care and they definitely are not interested in you. It doesn’t matter if you own your own business, inherited some money, were a minor sports celebrity or work some other quasi-important-in-your-eyes job that makes you feel special. If you try and hit on them they’ll laugh at your silly jokes and smile and pretend that they’re interested, but they really aren’t. The bartenders will look at you like a personal injury lawyer looks at a gimp, “I think I can make a buck off that.”

Save yourself the trouble. But if you really do think that you’re the cat’s meow and you must persist in trying to get to know the bartender better…here’s a few hints. Tip well the first time around, smile and be respectful. No cheesy lines are gonna’ do it. Maintain the manners that your mother taught you and you should be fine.